-- Tennessee Williams
I sat on my steps last night and looked at the sky. The night was cold enough to wear a coat but not so cold that I needed gloves. Living in the city, I don't often get to appreciate the stars, but I could see a few last night and all I could think was, the night can be beautiful. Quiet and silent and reflective. There's something cleansing about spring time. The fact that we've made it through the winter and are about to be rewarded. Even a cold rain is a sign of growth, a passage of time. No matter how cold and miserable the rain, we can be glad that it's not snow. There are all sorts of sayings that go along with this time of year - March goes in like a lion, out like a lamb. April showers bring May flowers. We celebrate holidays about freedom and rebirth. We remember that life is cyclical.
We remember that life is now. I made several phone calls to people I love yesterday. I thought about the little things. And today I made sure I did some little things. I went to the gym, cleaned my room, ate a banana muffin. Tonight I will see a comedy show tonight with some friends.
I'm making sure I laugh today. Because I can't think of any other way to honor Dan than with laughter. My mom loves to tell a story about my high school graduation party. We were making a whirlpool in my parents' above ground pool. It was mostly my friends but a couple of young kids belonging to the neighbors were there as well. If you're not familiar with the concept of the whirlpool, you basically get a bunch of people to run in a circle around the perimeter until the water starts moving so fast in the same direction that you can lift your feet and float. In a circle. It might sound stupid but I love that feeling - you have little control, you are literally "going with the flow." One of the kids from next door was too small and got sucked under the current. My mom noticed from the deck, but before she could even shout out a warning, Dan just reached down, pulled this child out of the water and kept running. Somewhere in a high school scrapbook, there's a photo of this moment. And the thing I remember most from the photo is that we are all laughing.
Sometimes I feel like I'm floating in a huge whirlpool, and there are definitely times when I feel like I've gotten sucked under. But my friends always pull me back to the surface. Tomorrow marks my one year anniversary in Chicago, and despite all of the friends I've made here, those bonds are new. Some will last, some will not. But there are people who will always be a part of my life, and these people are part of memories I will hold forever.
There's nothing we can do about the events that took place a year ago today. But we can do our best to remember. Remember that life is short. Remember those people who are important to us -- even when you've fallen out of touch. Remember to laugh.
I'm thinking of you today, Dan. I think of you often. Laugh on, my friend. Laugh on.
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| Post-bowling at The Cove, Summer 2006 |
