Showing posts with label Dreamers. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Dreamers. Show all posts

Thursday, March 21, 2013

#ActorProblems: The Onion Was Right About Me


Friends, Romans, Actors, lend me your ears. And eyes. If you haven't already read THIS article from The Onion, I recommend you do that now. Seriously. You. Go. Read. Now.

Okay. Now raise your hand and tell me if that accurately describes your life. Well, here I am raising both hands because that is 100% me. What's your deal, Onion? Stop understanding me so well. Or making fun of me so well, something like that.

When I introduce myself to people and they ask me what I do, I reply, "I'm an actress." Their next question is always, "So what have you been in?" Never ask an actor that question. Then we have to go through this story about the business and how it works and you're just breaking in to the scene here and yada yada yada. I understand why that's your first question, but just don't ask it. When you tell me you're in advertising, I don't ask, "Have you produced anything I might have seen?" Because the thing about most of us is, we've done a lot of work, it just might not be something you recognize and we don't feel like having to explain to you why what we HAVE DONE is meaningful to us.

I do not have an Oscar. I do not care if I ever win an Oscar. I feel accomplished. I still have a dream, and sometimes I only spend 10% of my day working on that dream. But it's a dream nonetheless. And that's a major thing I've got to hold onto right now. This may not work out. But you may also never be CEO of your organization. So, there's that. Sometimes I feel guilty that I don't want to go out and "change the world." But I think that I do help make the world a little better by bringing some art and some emotion into it.

If no one ever dreamed, life would be boring. There would be no Picasso. There would be no polio vaccine. We wouldn't have a black president. Hell, there wouldn't even be a United States to have a black president of. And you better believe I'm excited to write a post about our first female president. So what I'm saying is, yep, Onion, you got me. I bust my butt at two different jobs to afford my acting pursuits. But we all dream that we'll be happy in our careers one day, so freelance writer for The Onion that also works at Starbucks on the weekends, you got me again. I've got a lot of #ActorProblems, but my ability to dream certainly isn't one. I know this rant is getting long, so I'll end with this because I'm feeling a little passionate (And defensive? Why am I always so defensive about this?) right now.

A college student recently asked me for advice about setting out into this world of theatre. This is what I said.

"Nothing happens quickly in this business. The percentage of people who have that lucky "big break" is very small but the number of people making money working in facets of the industry is large. And there is no right way to get there and no right place to end up. Your path will take you places you never dreamed. Follow your own agenda. Don't take a job just because you're scared another one won't come along. (Because it will.) If something doesn't compel you, it's not worth your time and energy. In other words, be true to yourself. 

Okay, so that's the advice from the practical side of me. Here's my advice from the artist in me. If writing is your passion, NEVER STOP DOING IT."

I know I won't.

Monday, May 7, 2012

Number 33: Write a scathing Letter to the Editor

Hey Blog World - what's shakin'? I'm going to level with you guys, this letter isn't scathing. But I've been thinking about this article for the past few weeks and I've got a lot to say on the matter. So here we go with Number 33 - Rebecca Novick, you don't make my blood boil (and I won't argue with everything you have to say), but I disagree with you. Here's why.

For those of you in the arts world (or friends with someone who is on Facebook) probably at least saw the article, "Please, Don't Start a Theater Company! Next-Generation Arts Institutions and Alternative Career Paths." It's a solid read for anyone looking pursue a career in the arts, and an even more important read for those who are thinking about starting a company. And the first time I read it, the title really threw me off - I was a little angry at it. Reading it a second time proved that I agreed with a lot of what Novick has to say about why the model of, "Yep, we're going to start a company and then get famous and then make a living doing this" doesn't work. But, speaking as someone on the other side... someone who recently disbanded her company, I can honestly say that I do not regret a thing, and starting The CoLab is one of the most formative things I could have done as a young artist in Boston.

2009 was a terrible year to graduate. Really effing awful. But in all of the research I've done on "graduating into the recession" and all of the advice that's out there on the interwebs, no one is giving advice for the theatre major. (Well, except for maybe Ms. Novick.) And why would they? We graduate with the idea that we will be working some sort of "survival job," waiting tables or answering phones, something to pay our bills while we fulfill our dreams nights and weekends. We are the weird girl in the office that looks haggard and awful for a full week every few months with our only excuse being the mysterious phrase, "I'm in tech."

Let's break down the article. The first section of the essay, "What could we build instead?" urges artists to consider different models of theatre companies with different "organizational structures." She gives a few examples of companies that pay their actors to do administrative tasks and other companies that are able to fund themselves by getting grants for specific small projects. Well, that's great, but to even get to that level you have to start somewhere, and that means getting experience! (Which she later says, is exactly what she got out of starting her own company in her twenties.) And I'll tell you, there aren't too many organizations who want to PAY someone who graduated three weeks previously with a Bachelor's in Acting to work in the arts world. Sure, there are plenty of box office jobs that pay $8/hour (who can subsist on $8/hr?!) and plenty of unpaid internships, but as someone who had to pay her own rent, neither of those things were going to cut it during my first year out. So when one of my friends suggested we start our own company, I said sure, let's do it. I can do it on my time, at my own speed, and I can actually work on the type of theatre I'm interested in. And off we went.

The second section of the article actually describes some of what we did at The CoLab. We set ourselves up with specific goals and didn't plan our second one until we were sure we could accomplish the first. When we first produced play. in 2010, we were putting up ensemble-devised work, which literally no one else in Boston was doing. We took things one step at a time until the company started to grow larger than ourselves - we needed more money, more time, more manpower and it was going to take a lot to acquire all of these things. And we didn't have it in us to keep going (and accomplish all of the individual things we wanted) - so, we went out with a bang, and this momentum has carried each of us into the next phase of our lives. (Read our goodbye blog here.) Novick encourages that we operate this way, and not under the title "company" with a specific infrastructure and five year plan, but I say, having that is important. It ties everyone in to one specific goal, even if at it's basis, the goal is "to produce art."


But, it's not the inception that matters the most - it is the drive to push forward. To create. To produce. To know that in a world where they tell us the arts are dying - new groups are springing forward, and saying, "yes, we believe this can work." The final section of the essay asks that the change to support paid fellowships and apprenticeships for actors, playwrights, producers, etc. starts with the larger companies. Yep. Agreed. But, I've heard a number of companies talk the talk, without walking the walk. As Novick says, "It's discouraging that the holy grail of a living wage from satisfying artistic work, attainable for only a few in the current system, doesn't look too much more likely in these newer models."

And I agree -- it is sad. And I recently attained a job that will pay me to work in the theatre, but I'm convinced I would not have gotten my foot in the door if it wasn't for The CoLab. Because it is that drive that proves to these larger, more established companies, that yes, this person is worth investing in. Look what they started at 22 years old. And maybe all of these thoughts make me a dreamer or an idealist, but I'm proud of that. Because as a wise man said to me recently, "I like this. I don't want to become jaded." "You will at some point," I replied. And it's true, we all lose some naivete the longer we stay in the business. But then that same wise man replied, "I just like to play." And that made me realize - that is what we said at one of our first CoLab meetings - "Let's start a company so we can play." So, until we are able to transition into this phase of trickle down support from large to small, I think we've got to keep listening to a different wise man, "The play's the thing." Yeah, starting a theatre company is naive in many ways (and stupid in many others), but not starting it would have been the biggest mistake I ever made.

So, here's to an underfunded, overpopulated, we're-spread-too-thin world of theatre. And the next generation of artists to keep it going. Because, Ms. Novick, no matter how misguided our attempts may be, that desire to start ourselves off on our own two feet, the ability to figure out how to fund a play, the audacity (to quote an equally "naive" woman) to throw eight actors on stage in a church hall and call it a show, and the passion to say, "This is my work. I built this from the ground up" is what is driving this so-called dying movement in America. And I'm damn proud to be part of it.


Here's to the next company to start and fail. Because it we don't fall down, we'll never figure out how to climb a little higher the next time.


And scene.
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