Oh, Train DJ with your non-noise canceling headphones,
I know it is you who is filling this entire train car with your kids-these-days rap music.
And it's not because of your skin color or age or dress, but because of the muffled obscenities emitting from your cheap headphones.
Oh, what's that? You have one earbud dangling around your neck so you can hear what's going on around you?
Well, here's an idea, lower your music and maybe you'll hear even better. And prevent some serious hearing loss.
And my oncoming migraine.
Oh, accidental DJ, it's not that I don't appreciate being able to hear some well crafted lyrics about some dude's sexual prowess. (Because clearly if you need to sing about it, you really can make ladies' undergarments drop like that.) (Gross, ps.)
But I really think the elderly lady standing next to you on this 8 am commute is trying to figure out how to politely ask you to turn down your music before she politely removes your headphones from your ears and accidentally crushes them to a pulp on the train car floor with the heel of her shoe.
Or maybe that's just me.
Because I'll tell you one thing, Mr. DJ, I'd love to crank TSwift every day on the train, but it's just not polite to my fellow commuters.
So, to sum up, Train DJ. Shut it, before I --
Oh, what's that? It's my stop? You win this time, Train DJ. But karma's still listening, and I hope your workplace radio plays nothing but Justin Bieber and Call Me Maybe on repeat today. (Sigh, if only.)
Best wishes, fellow riders, this girl's got a children's music class to attend.
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