Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Number 1: Make Up An Alias

Have you ever been out a bar and started receiving some very unwanted attention? It's usually from someone waaaay to drunk to even be stringing a coherent sentence together like this guy:

Or someone decidedly creepy (preferably minus the hair doll) like this guy:

ANYWAYS!!! Regardless of the situation, you are CORNERED without a friend in sight to save you. This guy (or girl - I'm not saying women can't be creepy) starts chatting you up and asking you asinine questions which include, "What's your name?" What would you do? Well, I'll tell you what I do. Whenever I'm in a situation like this I become (DA, DA, DAHHH!) ALISHA. Alisha is a recent graduate of Boston University, hailing from New Jersey, and is (of all things) an actress/waitress. She enjoys margaritas and long walks on the beach and IS ALWAYS LEAVING. (Side note: This is the key ingredient for those of you wanting to try this at home - always be leaving the bar. Even if you're just on your way back from the bathroom. It's the easiest way out of a conversation with an unwanted suitor. That and, "Sorry, I'm trying to find my boyfriend!" But even then, sometimes they try and help you and then things just get messy. Especially if you're out with your girlfriends.) Anyways, Alisha makes a lot of friends at bars but she meets them quickly and then mosies on her way. She's also an excellent wing woman, should you ever need one. Oh - and if anyone ever doubts that Alisha is my actual name? BAM! Right there on my wrist courtesy of my lovely roommate.

And this, ladies and gentlemen, has been a lesson in making up an alias. Any questions?

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