Number 65b: Remember the "a la mode" - A Summer Reflection

 Hey BlogLand... it's me. Erika. You may not remember me, but I'm the the girl whose life you read about when you visit this site. And sometimes that girl takes stupidly long hiatuses from posting. I'm sorry that I've left you hanging. Today marks a solid four months without a post. You're probably wondering what I've been up to. Well, friends, it's been a heck of a summer. (Hence the hiatus.) If we're Facebook friends you've probably noticed that I spent a lot of my summer holding red solo cups (cough, Mom, cough cough). That's because summer in Chicago is hot and I understand the importance of routine hydration. Glad we got that out of the way.

Well, since I posted last, I completed my first ever half-marathon (in 2 hours and 6 minutes), hydrated, spent two weeks traveling the East Coast, had some visitors, hydrated some more , saw some plays, and generally lived up that infamous "Chicago summer." You know, hydrating. And I made some important self-discoveries. (I know, I sound insanely productive.)

Here's a fun fact about me: I love watching tv sitcoms about solid groups of friends. Whether it's kicking back at Monica and Rachel's or sitting at the regular booth at MacLaren's or (as of late) playing poker at PJ's with the boys -  we take on these friends as if they are our own. I find myself saying things like, "I wish I could be friends with Schmidt." "Wouldn't it be fun if we could do that every night?"

But last month, as I walked away from a going away party for one my best friends, I realized that I actually do have THAT. We have our routines and our "spots" and our inside jokes. In every group, we each play our roles. We understand the dynamics of putting together certain groups of people. Recently, someone said to me, "I love meeting your friends - everyone is so nice and is always having fun." I'm pretty proud of that. I'd like to think that at 26, I'm choosing to surround myself with good people. People that I love and want to be around. People who bring out the best in me, understand the worst parts about me, and are still there for me when I have a colossal break down.

I don't have a large extended family and as a result I've made my friends a part of my family. Now that I'm far away from my family, this has become even more important to me. Whether it's coordinating a Skype date between four different time zones with my college friends or heading to a show to support new friends or answering that late night phone call because you know something isn't quite right, being a good friend is important to me.

An old boyfriend once commented how he was amazed that I have so many friends that I keep in close contact with. He wondered how I made time for them all. And how I was able to keep that many people close to me. "I make time," was my response. I've lived here for almost a year and half now, and I've gone from loving it, to wondering if I was doing the right thing, to being an absolute mess, to standing on solid ground. And it is the people I've surrounded myself with that even out the footing.

I know a lot of you (especially those in my age set) probably read this article yesterday. It made some interesting points, and gave me some stuff to think about, sure. But after I finished it, I got to thinking. I'm not unhappy. Things aren't perfect. I've cried more than once about the imperfections in the last month. But things will never be perfect. And, I mean, did you read the start of this blog? I just told you that I haven't blogged in four months because I've been having too much fun. I've been going on auditions and planning parties and discovering that I have friends that I can do nothing with. Because those are the best kind, the kind you can just sit next to on a couch with no movie on and no agenda, and just be with for hours on end. So what is there to be unhappy about? I've described myself as always striving to be the person in the room having the best time.

And sure, I probably could have a few more bucks in my savings account, and could spend some extra time per week at the gym, but life is out there to be lived. And so far, things are exactly at expectation level. So here we are, first post back, waxing on about happiness levels. I've got to go -- I've got to plan the side dish I'm bringing to supper club tonight and then figure out what I'm serving at this weekend's party. With my friends. Where I'll be having the best time.

Thanks for reading, BlogLand. I'm excited to be back in the game. See ya soon.
xoxo,
E

Number 65: Remember the "a la mode" (Or Remember Why You Started This Blog in the First Place)

2013.
The new year. For some, this is a time for new beginnings, a fresh start, clean slate. For others, it is a time to celebrate. For me, it is a time to remember where I have been and how much further I have left to go. I stopped making resolutions years ago because I felt like I never stuck to them. But looking back at all of the new people and new experiences that 2012 brought into my life, I am thinking of the new year as a benchmark, and an opportunity to be thankful for everything I have.

Moving far away from my family, friends, and my home state was a hard thing to do, but it was a change I needed and I do not for one moment regret doing it. There are good days and there are bad days and even on the days where I feel like I belong and everything is falling into place -- well even on those days, especially on those days, I miss my loved ones the most. You can replace so many things in your life. You can figure out how to make a fresh start in so many ways, but you can't replace the people who truly love you.

Sometimes I sit on the bus with my headphones in, but the music off. I listen to people sharing and living and that's when I feel the most like I'm actually a part of things. Of the hum and the doldrum. Those are the days I realize that the city isn't new and that I don't stick out. And those are the days I know something's headed my way. Because this life doesn't stay quiet for long. And because every once and awhile I look up at the skyline... and it all feels fresh again.

And I remember that the city is magical. And still new. And I can't help but feel that 2013 has something special in store for me.

But today, in this first week of this new year, I am thankful for everyone in my life. From Pittsfield to Everett to DC to Sitka to Israel to San Francisco and to this little town they call Chicago. I am thankful to all of the people who love me and have faith in me. I love you back.

This year, my only resolution is to love. So get ready for it, friends. It's going to be a good one. Happy New Year.

xo,
Erika

(...and stay tuned! Because the blog is getting a revamp and some more love in 2013 as well.)