Number 35: Run For A Worthy Cause (And For Yourself)

Nervous - so hot right now.

I almost got washed away on my way to spinning yesterday evening (seriously - it looked like a full blown monsoon out there) but I made it to the gym anyway. Yesterday was the perfect day to avoid the gym and one of the toughest (but greatest) spin instructors I've ever had, but I dragged myself out there anyway. EIGHT PEOPLE showed up amidst the rain. Last week, the instructor had to give away his bike we had so many people trying to get in. EIGHT. So making it there was already an accomplishment, but I started thinking about why I go to class every week.

In the fall of 2010, I went through a break up. The relationship wasn't a long one, but it had been an uber-concentrated one. You know the type, a few weeks of intensity where the two of you literally do everything together and your friends start to wonder where this guy even came from and how long he'd be sticking around. I didn't see the break up coming and it hit me hard. So I hit the treadmill. Harder. I got over the heartbreak and into great shape. I ran my first 5k that fall... then stopped running for awhile. Started again. Hurt my back. Stopped. Moved to Chicago. And I started running again. A lot of change happened really quickly and I went through a lot of emotional ups and downs in those first weeks here. Running helped. Lake Michigan was gorgeous and I looked forward to checking out the city and clearing my head. And then it got hot... so I stopped again.

Last week, over a drink, one of my girlfriends asked me to run The Chicago Spring Half Marathon with her. Maybe I should have said no - she's run three halfs before and I've never run more than seven miles at once. Plus, I'm definitely not in the best shape currently. But maybe it was our dodgeball high (that's another story...) or the beer hit me quickly, but I agreed to do it. And the next day, instead of regretting my decision and bailing, I found myself excited. And ready to train. Why?

Because the idea of completing a test of will and endurance reminds me what I'm out here to do. Sometimes I have bad days and I wonder if I'll ever make money on stage. Heck, at this point I'm wondering if someone is ever going to put me ON STAGE. I've yet to be cast in full length show here and while I know it takes time, I'm anxious. So anxious for something to happen. Anything to happen. So in the meantime, I will remind myself that this career is a marathon, not a sprint. I'm still new here and I need to be patient, as hard as that is. And while I continue to audition and network, I will run. 

For me.

Because spin class will go on whether I trek through the rain or not. But I go for me. Because that hour is mine and mine alone. And sometimes when my lungs are staging a coup d'etat, that aerobic pain has the ability to banish all of the bad thoughts from the day and suddenly the only thing on my mind is -- when the hell is this song going to be over?! And it's nice to have an hour where everything truly melts away.

I never thought that I would EVER run a half marathon. EVER. But on May 19, three of my girlfriends and I will run 13.1 miles for the Northwestern Brain Tumor Institute. I'd like to say that we chose the half because of the charity, but we didn't. We just wanted to run. So for now I'll just say that I'm glad we're running for a worthy cause, but I'm especially glad I'm running for me.

I won't steal my bestie's blog idea (and you better believe I'm a little bit running for her as well), but you'll be able to follow my progress on my blog as I continue. Because right now, All I Wanna Do is finish the 13.1 miles. And (since technology is crazy) on the day of the race, you'll be able to see where I am on the course via Twitter. How cool (read: terrifying) is that?! We don't officially start training until March, but I've got a few goals of my own to hit before then. For now, I'll probably just update you on the new gear I buy. Like these cool kicks.

Cat not included.

Happy trails!
E